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Wednesday, March 10, 2010

i fell sick on sunday night... just a day before the first day of my posting...

it was quite bad... general malaise, myalgia, a painful and congested post nasal space, runny nose, and feeling warm warm warm...

tues... still felt sick. so i dragged myself out of bed and reached my destination at 8am... they started at 10am... i was damn pissed... talk so much about punctuality and they are more than an hour late???

during the session, without any reason, i just felt sick and nauseated.. i went to a corner and sat down and immediately the rest just hit me...

i couldn't see, couldn't hear properly, couldn't even sit... i just felt so dizzy, weak, cold and scared of what was happening... i immediately lied down on the floor of the gallery... i hope i didn't scare any of my friends...

but many thanks to those who were so concerned of me...

guess i kinda fainted... dunno whether it's cos i wasn't feeling too well or cos of what i saw... but yeah... it wasn't a nice feeling at all... i think i lay on the floor for bout 10 mins before i recovered enough to sit up...

wed today was my turn to 'scrub in' and enter the theater.. i was a bit apprehensive.. but right from the start it wasn't the fear... perhaps the psychological barrier tt i had fainted yesterday? haha i dunno.. but i survived the session :) phew thankfully.. or else this time i would end up on the floor of the theatre which ain't tt sterile...

my first witnessing... i guess it did bring about mixed emotions... somehow it all seemed rather unreal... like how someone could be alive one moment and dead on the table the next moment... i wouldn't go into details but it just left me thinking about death and how the dead were treated...

i guess it is essential but how it's done can be quite intimidating i guess... almost 'butcher-like'... but i'm glad to have had the opportunity to witness this first hand.. no amount of online youtube videos can prepare u for this...

life is so fragile, like a lit candle that is so easily snuffed out...

a dead body without a soul seems so empty and distant...

Pensées @ 4:49 AM